Another night of not sleeping clear through. Doesn't take much to wake me up. Once I'm up even for a minute a couple of the dogs want out then I have to wait for them to finish chasing whatever smell they think they have followed into the woods. Anyway this is the time that my thoughts run amuck. We spent yesterday in Hyampom at C and J's. They are redoing their deck and Eddie was able to help Joe put up some huge beams . I watched Carol fix spaghetti while we talked. She is a great listener and easy to talk to.
They have offered to go to our next appt with us on Wed. I love them for that but haven't decided yes or no. Thinking maybe we might need to face this one on our own. I am afraid of what Dr. Harwood is going to tell us and how I'll react. (Possibilities) *They weren't able to gather cells for typing and I'll have to go through the next yuckie procedure, they did gather cells and the type is REALLY crappy.Then again maybe it'll be somewhat good news and the type will be THE ONE we can treat. Everyone says the waiting is so hard. In the past I've always agreed but somehow this is different for me. Now i'ts the part where the Dr. says what he KNOWS. Will I cry, scream, pass out? Be grateful that I have the treatable kind? Eddie says if they don't hurry up and figure out the treatment I need he is going to buy a chemo kit off of ebay and do it himself. He really wants a plan of action in place. Right now though I really feel calm and at peace about all of this. Maybe because I don't have any control at this moment, and know that Eddie has his thumb on the issues at hand. WHAT IS, IS and we have to take it as it comes.